I'm starting to reconsider my decision to quit FKMTkrazy. You guys were right, I did have a mental breakdown when I wrote that post and I was at the end of my rope. I regret saying a lot of the things I said but it's out there now and I can't take it back. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm a Christian now and that's going to take precedence in my life from this moment forward. Allow me to explain.
Thank you for this. Hope you are well.
ReplyDeleteThank you bro. all best for you :)
ReplyDeleteSonick, first of all I am an atheist, just so you know my bias.
ReplyDeleteSecond, the bible was written by men and compiled at the first council of Nikea I believe. The bible itself is a political tool from after christianity had been accepted in Rome by Constantine.
I believe that as a Christian, you should follow the spirit of Christ's teachings and not the literal words of the bible. Those are written by men and fallible, but the message Jesus tried to convey should still be there between the lines. Find that message and let yourself live by it, rather than blindly follow the words of long dead men.
I happen to think that even though God isn't real, Jesus still had a good point.
Also, you've given years of your life to bring joy to people from all around the world and kept your integrity the entire time. I refuse to accept a good god that wouldn't think highly of you for that.
"I am an atheist. Here's how you should live as a Christian". My word, you people are really full of yourselves.
DeleteThat doesn't resemble an accurate interpretation of the post you replied to. You're obviously the same caveman that made that hateful post condoning hatred toward gays and trans people. You are not welcome on this planet. Improve yourself.
DeleteThank you Anon 1. I do feel that way as well, there's a lot in the bible that I have to question. I'm just all shook up from everything that's happened and I don't know where to turn.
DeleteAnon 3, I sincerely apologize for the implication of that post, as I have in the past. If you would just watch the first 10 minutes of my video you will see that I was in a severe mental state and i explain what i was thinking when i wrote it. I have deleted it and i repent for going to the extremes as much as I did. I hope you can understand.
Anon 3 here, I know Sonic, you're going through a lot. Thank you for all your had work over these years, do whatever you need to heal yourself and fill your heart. Anon 2 here is a scumbag though.
DeleteGlad to hear you're doing better man. As long as your newfound belief in god helps you mentally stabalize and gives you a steady structure to live your life by, there's nothing wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteI just want to read Kaiji
ReplyDeleteright? i think this is all one big troll and it's not funny.
DeleteSonik, as a traditional Catholic I'm glad you've turned towards Christ and I don't mind what you said about the gays in one of your previous posts. However, I do get the idea that you are very mentally unwell at the moment based on what you've written and how you've written it, combined with some of the circumstances of your life that you've shared with us. I recommend you get some help for your mental health, my friend. Maybe see a therapist or something.
ReplyDeleteLastly, to be a Christian is to be persecuted in any period of history, look at how quickly the people here turned on you just for you expressing your personal views which are completely unrelated to the work you were doing! In all honesty they're a bunch of weak minded faggot losers to turn on someone for an opinion on something that wasn't even a factor in why they were following this website in the first place. Unless they're all trannies too, which is what I think they are because they got upset at your post lol. Anyway, the point of this message is for you to be strong, and ignore the gaytheists as their opinions are worth less than dirt.
To be a Christian is to persecute others* fixed that for you
DeleteI don't have anything against gay or transgender people, I think I'm probably gay too and I was just in such a terrible state of mind when I wrote that post that I was willing to sacrifice my own passion and sexuality to please God. Watch the video and I'll tell you what I think of Catholicism too. Hating people for any reason, let alone for their sexual identity, goes against the spirit of Jesus and I disavow the unintended implication of my post.
DeleteChrist cant save you schizo.
DeleteNice to see you back, btw put on a scarf and you'll look like Kazuya Hyodo man.
DeleteStop. Get some help.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteI just want you to do better bro.
ReplyDeleteGet all the help you need, whether you become a Christian or an atheist, remember the lord only helps those who help themselves.
Get professional therapy first and foremost no matter what.
Whatever path you choose, take care my broseph.
Hey, following what you said about your own sexuality and religion and how you're struggling with it I thought maybe you will be interested in this conversation
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMsv6ZBK8SE
Take care.
I saw the video, and as for alochol part, I think these manga could be little helpful for you. It's Japanese but you can read them, so here's the link.
ReplyDeletehttps://wpb.shueisha.co.jp/comic/2020/02/21/110739/
Mainly about sex addiction but also about addiction general. The writer use religion effectively to cope with addiction
https://www.jiji.com/ad/korosho/izonsho_manga_v02.html
About alcohol addiction, (sadly only on Firefox or IE, not chrome)
All of these are free to read. If you have time...
I really respect you being able to follow up after your breakdown, and I'm sorry for the trauma that caused it and the embarrassment that probably followed. I'm not religious, but I'm also not dumb enough to think believers can't be good people too. As for the gayness, please believe you can love Christ and be non-heteronormative. Maybe you'll figure it out, maybe you won't, maybe it's not supposed to be figured out. But live proudly through the struggle; making mistakes, gaining wisdom and helping others do the same is all it's about. Thanks for all the Kaiji man, it's really changed by outlook on what it means to be a good person.
ReplyDeleteWhy even waste the little time on this half-baked shit instead of something really useful? It's not all just about feeling good about yourself, you know.
DeleteYou can't let your life be controlled by negative emotions like regret and guilt. Or a desperation for someone's approval.
ReplyDeleteI can see you cared about your father very much, even if he didn't care very much for what you did or couldn't understand it.
I'm not gonna say you turned out perfect and I don't know how actively he participated in your upbringing. Maybe it was like
with me, where my dad tried to be a part of my life but I wouldn't let him. Maybe he bears no blame. But you are not a child
anymore, you should be a man of your own way and beliefs, validated by yourself instead of others. I get wanting to repay him
for what he may have done for you, but surely he didn't want a puppet or a dog? Surely?
Akagi is called a demon because the nature of being a man - more importantly, of being strong - is demonic. Weak people
can't understand strength and regard it as demonic. That's why, James. It's a manga trope, not a FKMT trope. God appears to those
who are mentally weakened. Even characters like Ichikawa, who normally think themselves above God, suddenly fear Him when in
danger. The song Only Superstition by Coldplay comes to mind. I've had a "revelation" of God like you did before, where I looked back
on my life and saw" signs" I couldn't before. Human reasoning is MOTIVATED, James. Meaningless coincidences shatter the mind. I
know they do shatter mine when I play Mahjong (I don't know how you can actually have FUN playing that masochism simulator) You're
gonna see these sorts of things when you look for them. Just like it feels like God is tormenting you when you have no safety nets
in life and the slightest fuck-up hurts a lot. The things you hear from others will be misunderstandings or, yes, just straight-up lies.
You're an average man - neither particularly strong or clever - in a species of fools who we KNOW have committed all sorts of atrocities
out of delusion; the far more realistic explanation will always be that you're wrong. Please be humble, James. There's no polite way of
saying that religion is, ironically, the most ungodly and heretical form of arrogance. If you concede that your blogpost was rash because
of your mental state, what are the odds that this whole thing is one big rash decision?
I mean really, it's a Rorschach test, isn't it? You're seeing something else in the inkblots than you normally would because
of your altered mental state. If an outsider looking at this objectively can listen to all your scenarios/experiences and give
plausible and realistic explanations for them, and you still say stuff like "you had to be there" or "I feel there's more to it",
I'm sorry, but is it not self-indulgence on your part? (Yes yes I know, says the guy who won't shut the fuck up) It doesn't really
matter how many there are if they're all the result of colored perception or a lack of imagination. Isn't the best explanation
that this is a new development in your indulgent habits: weed, alcohol, porn, video games, gambling and now finally full-on
psychological masturbation? Please forgive me if this is insulting, I don't mean it to be. It just seems like self-absorbed
solipsism, I can't help that perception.
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - Carl Jung
DeleteTrying to make sense of the world on your own is the ideal. But it's pointless if you're driven only by convenience and insecurity. People only talk a big game about being open-minded freethinkers. If someone calls something demonic in a symbolic way and all you can think of is does God approve, you're already trapped in a childish mindset. You're just not braining well, despite pretentions to the opposite. And maybe you won't suffer for it directly but public discourse is hard enough already. Meaningful conversation on policy and social issues is hard enough already! We don't need people held back by a sky-wizard they have no real evidence for.
Sexuality is complicated. Unimportant, too. Maybe platonically/emotionally, you're attracted more to men because, let's be
ReplyDeletereal, masculinity is more attractive character-wise? You're not neurologically gay if you doubt it this much, I'm sure.
There's no shame in this. Insecurity is the cancer of the soul and you'd do well to avoid it. It's what caused those
guilt-ridden dreams of yours.
Definitely do take a break and think everything through. Even if you stay Christian, I want you to use your head and be
as careful as you can be. Life is a minefield, it makes you suffer if you don't use your head. And not all the mines trigger right
away. I know you said on Discord that belief in God gives you peace of mind, but that's a weakness, just an excuse to stop thinking.
There's a HUGE gulf between spirituality and religion, if you ask me. The two are nothing alike and I'm definitely not the
ultra-rationalist skeptic type. I'm an admirer of Christ and his mental strength. God as depicted in whichever holy book could exist, but
you have to restrict your navigation of this world to things you can MEASURE. You don't push with just anything in Mahjong, either.
Making this video may have been a mistake, honestly, since now you've established a narrative or your life you may become
too invested in/attached to. I don't know. I could keep going but I already wrote a small novel both here and in the comments
of the blogpost.
I hope you don't mind too much that I didn't address what you'd probably consider the banger arguments of this video.
There's simply no real case here and rationalization can take you to the moon. It's hard to take seriously. I've had lots of weird
psychological experiences much like those you've described here as a kid, not so much in recent years. I believed in
"destiny". Never smoked weed or drank alcohol, though, which might explain some of your stuff. If God is real and abandoned me,
then being abandoned is great. I suffered a lot, but I'd never trade this growth and maturation for anything. Even if we're
forced to say "we plum don't know", that's the intellectually honest answer, not "therefore God".
Anyway, enough of my ramblings. You might blame me for taking you seriously enough to type all this, or think I'm invested in this
or insecure about your beliefs. I'm not, I just don't think "I'm hearing voices from the darkness telling me to quit my job, I should probably
listen" is a good final destination. I wanted to thank you for all those years of free entertainment by being honest. Sorry for the rant
and have a good life.
Optional part - Answer me this (or don't and just answer it for yourself):
Should all the villains receive the Roasted Kneeling punishment like Tonegawa did and is it not enough for them to lose all their money?
Why? Remember that the torture device had an additional part that Tonegawa rejected, which forced people to kneel when they couldn't do
it by themselves? It had the shape of a CROSS, James. The scene is described as hellish, too. Remember Kaiji crying over it. While the degree
of FKMT's religiosity can be argued, I'm sure the grinning Hyoudou was meant to portray a religious person. And how they delight in others
being thrown in Hell as they look at them from Heaven, the ivory tower for the (spiritually) "rich". If you want to avoid evil and repeating humanity's
mistakes, this isn't the best direction to go in. As Gin Hirai would say, your world will not expand this way, it will only shrink and collapse in on itself.
You speak of humanism on Discord, as if you actually see yourself as one with humanity, but you don't. Fukumoto does, thus the respect and
empathy for the villains. People pay hollow lip service to all sorts of things but are usually full of shit James, be wary of doing the same.
I have a different perspective on this than you and actually care about Sonic. I know both of these are hard for you to wrap your head around.
DeleteYou confuse beliefs/convictions with fashion if you think actual counter-arguments are unnecessary.
Deletedont be a retard about it
DeleteI'd much rather have a world full of honest retards than nihilistic cowards who won't even argue back.
DeleteI'm telling you I can't, you're the closest I can manage but like I said, too insecure to risk being wrong. In general, it's just an I'm-better-than-you-and-above-it-all world.
DeleteGlad to see you finding your footing, and that you're adjusting yourself to your new perspective.
ReplyDeleteJesuskrazy
ReplyDeleteHey, idk if you're going to read this but I wish you well. Thanks for all your work translating fkmt's stuff. It's incredible work.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find some clarity of mind with regard to being gay and christian. I'm not christian, but I know wonderful and kind bisexual and gay christians that don't believe christianity should be weaponised against minorities either.
Sorry you have so many weird-ass christians and atheists in your comment section lol. They seem to care more about justifying hurting other people than your situation at hand.